Saturday, May 21, 2011

Sitting here at my kitchen table in the green morning light, listening to the endless downpour, drinking French roast with milk, thinking about the persona-poem session I have to lead this morning, smelling the sopping wet grass outside the open window, trying not to think about how long the grass is and how hard it will be to mow if the storm clouds ever do blow out to sea and the sun ever does shine in the Disconsolate North.

What do you think: would that remark look better if it began with a lowercase letter and ended without punctuation?

sitting here at my kitchen table in the green morning light, listening to the endless downpour, drinking French roast with milk, thinking about the persona-poem session I have to lead this morning, smelling the sopping wet grass outside the open window, trying not to think about how long the grass is and how hard it will be to mow if the storm clouds ever do blow out to sea and the sun ever does shine in the Disconsolate North

Perhaps no caps at all?

sitting here at my kitchen table in the green morning light, listening to the endless downpour, drinking french roast with milk, thinking about the persona-poem session i have to lead this morning, smelling the sopping wet grass outside the open window, trying not to think about how long the grass is and how hard it will be to mow if the storm clouds ever do blow out to sea and the sun ever does shine in the disconsolate north

Dickinson-style lines with wacky caps 'n dashes?

Sitting here at my Kitchen table
In the green morning Light, listening to the Endless--
Downpour, drinking French roast with milk, Thinking
About the persona-poem session I have to Lead this Morning--
Smelling the sopping wet grass--outside the Open Window,
Trying not to think about how Long the grass Is
And how hard it will be to mow if the Storm-cloud
Ever do--Blow out to sea and the sun Ever does
Shine in the Disconsolate North--
Modernist brevity?

Table: green morning light: a downpour
A downpour
French roast with milk
Wet grass, open window
Storm clouds
And a Disconsolate North

As you can see, I'm having a hard time deleting "disconsolate," though I expect the Modernists would have none of it.


5 comments:

rss said...

To paraphrase Walt Whitman's Original Edition:

I guess it must be the flag of your Disconsolation, out of sopping green stuff woven.

Dawn Potter said...

I should have known that was a Walt word!

Julia Munroe Martin said...

I love this! I really like the Dickinson version, love to use those wacky dashes, myself!

Ang said...

All caps...DISCONSOLATE!!!!

Ruth said...

I teach; therefore, I am used to no caps and no punctuation.