One might claim to perceive a clear right and wrong in such situations. But the people of a region have more than economic ties to the natural resources they are hired to dig up or cut down. They are culturally bound to that labor: by family and community history, by stanza and story. Without mining we would have no Clementine. Without logging we would have no Paul Bunyan. Do stories matter when a landscape is at sake? No, and yes.
To me, such deep ambiguities are self-evident, but they are not so obvious to many activists. I say this as a person who almost always supports progressive causes, both environmentally and socially: I am a staunchly liberal voter. But I also recognize that, in large part, the fracking haters and wolf lovers do not live on the piece of land that will be directly affected by fracking or wolves. Those activists who do live there are often relative newcomers, not people with long cultural ties to the region. Does this make their arguments wrong? No, of course not. But these activists often tend to assume that the locals who cling to an industry are serfs cowed by corporate greed rather than individuals with histories and perspectives.
It is painful to be a poet who lives on both sides of this divide, and I have found myself writing so much about these people who are me, and also not me. My poems solve nothing, but at least they allow me to map the complications.
Ugly Town
Dawn Potter
The sun is under no obligation to shed its optimistic beams
on the ugliest town in Maine—not
now, not in March
when I’ve steeled myself for gravel-picked mud and despair,
for broken branches and a
plow-scarred dooryard
rimmed with a winter’s worth of dog turds, pale and crumbled
among the pale remaindered weeds.
But it does shine, that fool’s orb, for reasons best known
to itself;
and
I slouch here in my yellow chair, both cold feet
parked under the woodstove, squinting into this cheerful,
bossy glare,
attempting
to convince myself that unbridled nature
has, for once, chosen to be a genial master instead of the
flogging brute
we expect here in the ugly town,
where we don’t think
ski but shovel, don’t think flowers but floods.
Maybe I’ve been reading too many
books—
too much Roth and Munro, too much Blake and Carruth,
all of them driven to detail bleak
empty roads
and unmown lawns; evil alleys and poisonous rivers;
the fathers, dyspeptic,
misunderstood; the mothers,
wiping schmaltz and ketchup from the shabby oilcloth; and
meanwhile
those
thirteen angels on their magic seats, frowning and perturbed.
Of course there’s happiness too. No one denies the
happiness,
but don’t count on it to carry you
through. Keep your eye
steady, your irony sharp. Stay wary; it’s best to stay wary—
though not one of these writers, I
can tell you right now,
has ever stayed wary enough, and they’ve paid for it in
spades—
a
phrase that might, for dwellers of another clime,
connote cognac and midnight whist parties
but that here, in the ugly town,
where most everyone
gambles by scratch ticket and goes to bed early,
means plain old digging:
in snow, in thankless stony soil, with a bent shovel,
with a belching backhoe; tearing up
asphalt,
forking out a winter’s worth of choking black shit.
You can kill yourself when you pay
in spades
for a neat square cellar hole—say, when you’re fifty years
married
to a woman who’s dreamed for all
those heavy decades
of trading her wind-licked trailer for a house with a
furnace.
No, you haven’t had time, you
haven’t had money,
all you’ve had is a middle-aged kid who won’t get out of the
recliner
except to grab a beer from the
icebox, all you’ve had
are those cars, one after the other, falling into seizures
and dismay;
and if you can’t stop eating what
you shouldn’t be eating,
at least there’s salt, there’s sugar, those reliable
offerings
that remind you you’re still alive,
that you haven’t yet
paid out every single spade. Yet it’s a lie, and you know
it,
and I know it too because I tell my
own brand of lies,
such as it’s okay to be easy on myself,
such as I mean well, such as it’s good enough
to chronicle the sweetness of this sunlight,
not to force myself to keep
struggling to speak
when I don’t know how to think, when I don’t know how
to find the word, the only word, trembling,
naked as a rat,
when I don’t know how to lay it down, wet and mewling,
among the schmaltz and the ketchup
stains.
Someone might argue that here’s where a little wariness
would do me good, and not just me
but all these writers
whose books I’ve been reading too often,
and even they might agree with you,
on a bad morning.
But today, according to this obstinate sun, is not a bad
morning.
Brilliance leaks and flows through
window smears,
patches the dour carpet. The light refuses to let up.
It insists on itself, like a mean
cat does,
gliding from nowhere to bite me on the ankle.
The
world is too much with us; late and soon
is what Wordsworth wrote, but it’s not what he meant.
He
was trying to say we were too distracted by our lives
to notice this sunshine, and here I am borrowing his words
to
explain that I am too distracted by this sunshine
to notice my life.
The world overtakes me,
I’m
not wary enough, and something bad will
happen
if I don’t watch out. That’s the point to remember about
writing.
It
doesn’t solve anything.
[from Same Old Story (CavanKerry Press, 2014)
4 comments:
Powerful stuff - sun and crickets mock grief.
That’s well and also bravely said, Dawn. It’s a complex, complicated world. (If there’s one thing government work is good at, it’s the showing pretty much every day of how true that is.) Writing doesn’t solve anything? Maybe. But then here’s the poetry of “Ugly Town” and its humanity.
We should all begin by accepting that we all were kicked out of the garden long, long ago. With the arrival of consciousness comes the burden of self-awareness; and yet we know not what we do. I am reminded of Hopkins:
God's Grandeur
THE world is charged with the grandeur of God.
It will flame out, like shining from shook foil;
It gathers to a greatness, like the ooze of oil
Crushed. Why do men then now not reck his rod?
Generations have trod, have trod, have trod;
And all is seared with trade; bleared, smeared with toil;
And wears man's smudge and shares man's smell: the soil
Is bare now, nor can foot feel, being shod.
And for all this, nature is never spent;
There lives the dearest freshness deep down things;
And though the last lights off the black West went
Oh, morning, at the brown brink eastward, springs--
Because the Holy Ghost over the bent
World broods with warm breast and with ah! bright wings.
Many, many moons ago, I "delivered a paper" (not the Bangor Daily) at a conference titled, "Environmental Rhetoric: the Nature of Human Survival." My premise was that deep down loggers and Spotted Owl saviors, fishermen and Greenpeace's Rainbow Warriors, miners and eco-terrorists, all want the same thing: human survival. OK, I'll admit and have been admonished, there are some eco-activists who could care less about human beings. However, I find that to be unfathomable.
Discussions about jobs on the one hand and indicator species on the other are both, at root, discussions about how we are going to survive. It has always been about finding balance out here, far outside of Eden.
Thoughtful and thought provoking post. " ...these people who are me, and also not me." -- I'd be interested in reading more about this.
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