Dear employers,

Before you decide that I am the wrong person for your job--so wrong that you can't even respond to my application, let alone grant me an interview--please consider this:

Spending eighteen years at home with two boys does not equal "has no experience." You might instead try thinking of it as "works easily and flexibly with students of all ages and levels." Or "responds quickly and efficiently to crisis." Or "accustomed to shifting schedules, tasks, and priorities to suit current needs." Or "skilled at facilitating compromise and juggling multiple demands." Or "arrives to work on time; is well organized; is patient and friendly; learns new things quickly; is an efficient decision maker."

You don't care to learn that I'm almost fifty years old? And why don't I hide the fact that I have loved being home with my children, my animals, and my land and that a change in our circumstances will make me sad? Surely this is evidence that I will be incompetent in the workplace. How could it be possible to imagine that an applicant's evident sadness is proof of a loving, attached heart? Could your workplace use a few more of those hearts? But of course that's the kind of information that doesn't really show up on a resume, does it? Unless, perhaps, you were to go back and rethink that "eighteen years at home with two boys" issue.