Day 3 in Vermont. Just brought coffee and juice up to my parents. That's been the routine I've instigated: I go downstairs and deal with dogs and make the coffee, and then bring up a tray to them so they can sit together first thing and spend a little time alone. I've been trying to make a few little circles of privacy for them.
Yesterday the home health nurse visited, and she was wonderful, and we all felt some of our tensions begin to slip from our shoulders. She directly said what I'd only been subconsciously aware of: that we all felt as if the hospital had discharged dad onto the side of the road and left us to figure out what to do with him. This is metaphoric, of course, but part of the stress has been linked to the intensity of reading his spikes and dips and trying to figure out how to respond to them. Triage convalescence, I guess you could call it: but even though the three of us are in lockstep with his care, none of us is a nurse, and we feel as if we are inventing the wheel. So now we have this excellent new support, with lovely easy manner, to help us coordinate and move forward. Today, I hope, the physical therapist will be in touch, and we can start getting my dad making his first steps toward getting back into his garden.
So, on the whole, yesterday was a good day. Today we are considering another first: having me run a few errands and leaving the two of them in the house alone for an hour or so, as a trial to finding out how that feels for them. Dad says he had his best night's sleep in weeks, and Mom seems calm, so here's hoping that the day unfolds well.
2 comments:
Have you had an occupational therapist help you figure out how to help your dad negotiate the house (and bathing, etc.)? I felt the same way after I returned home after an extensive surgery -- no more wide open corridors or step in showers -- just a labyrinth of obstacles. I had to learn how to get out of bed without pain, into an claw-foot bathtub (used a little stepladder for that), and how to get in required steps in an old tilted house. And eating was always a somewhat frightening experiment. The hospital staff was fabulous at their focus (surgery), but awful at the "what's next"?
We've got a PT coming, and will reach out to an OT if that seems necessary. Right now he is doing well: managing most of his basic hygiene things on his own. The big issue has been spikes of severe weakness alternating with an unnerving liveliness . . . his body overresponds to food intake and he's a tall man, so figuring out how to keep his eating small and steady has been part of my learning curve. Overall, though, progress!
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