My friend, the poet Jay Franzel, sent me the following small piece, one of a number of brief political essays he's been writing lately. Given my tooth issues, he thought it was appropriate. Or maybe he just thought it would make us all gnash our teeth.
Jay Franzel
I recently heard from my buddy, Wildcat Mike. I was glad to get his e-mail; usually he only writes when the University of Kentucky wins a basketball championship or is cited for recruiting violations. Mike wrote: "Dude! I had a wicked toothache and called my dentist for an emergency filling. He agreed to see me, even though it was after hours. So I’m in the waiting room reading a Field & Stream and guess who comes walking out of the dental chair?"
I recently heard from my buddy, Wildcat Mike. I was glad to get his e-mail; usually he only writes when the University of Kentucky wins a basketball championship or is cited for recruiting violations. Mike wrote: "Dude! I had a wicked toothache and called my dentist for an emergency filling. He agreed to see me, even though it was after hours. So I’m in the waiting room reading a Field & Stream and guess who comes walking out of the dental chair?"
I replied, "John Calipari?"
"No—Mitch McConnell! I always wondered who his dentist was. And here he is, seeing my guy!"
"So did you talk to him?"
"Nah, he kept his head down and walked out. But I asked Dr. Vann about him. He said, 'Pretty good guy, doesn’t say much. 'Course it’s hard to talk while you’re getting your teeth cleaned. Every appointment he says, "What’s the damage?" and when I tell him, he whistles and shakes his head. Then he says, "Good thing I’ve got that taxpayer-funded insurance!"' Funny, huh?"
"Hilarious. So how’s your tooth?"
"Tooth’s great, but I’m out three hundred bucks. If UK doesn’t win by at least 11 next game, I’m toast."
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