Yesterday I did a thing I've never done before: I signed us up for an autumn farm share--six weeks' worth of local organic vegetables, which I can pick up at a delivery point on my own street. As a recovering homesteader, I of course feel weird about this. But my garden was wretched, I won't have much to process for the freezer, and it turns out that the cost of the CSA is probably less than I would spend at the grocery store. It's certainly no more, and we'll be supporting a local farmer and eating interesting food. If we like it, I'll sign us up for a winter share.

I'm trying to think of the CSA as I think of the freezer lamb we buy every winter: a sensible way to acquire high-quality food, support farmers, and save a little money by buying in bulk. But for a gardener, it does feel like a come-down. Ah, well. You'd think after a nearly a decade in this city, I'd have conquered my woodsy snobberies. But they linger.

Today is housework day, and going-out-to-write evening, and this afternoon I've got a zoom meeting with Monson staff about the conference scholarship program. Here's hoping we can come up with a good plan for filling that hole. If you can donate, in any amount, we'd so appreciate that. But we're also trying to figure out ways to guarantee a regular and predictable scholarship fund, given the implosion of public support.

I drove to mall land yesterday, not a favorite activity, and bought new pillows for our bed as ours had reached lump stage and I kept waking up with a stiff neck. And I bought another pair of jeans in the new smaller size I now magically seem to be. Yes, it's school-clothes season: new jeans, new boots, new Goodwill leather jacket. Add loud earrings and maybe some lipstick, and I am all ready to put on my high school show. I might as well be cheerful and vivid because, no matter what, I'm still going to look like I'm 60 years old.

[You notice I haven't mentioned yesterday's assassination yet? You notice how impossible it's becoming to condemn violence while also noting that the man who was killed encouraged this exact same violence as long as it was inflicted on people he didn't care about? You notice how we can't talk about irony? You notice how we can't talk about truth?]