Already I feel the tension of this day, and I need to find some way to keep my nerves in check. I slept badly, though I was exhausted. This morning I'll be taking a long drive north for a walk with an old friend, and I hope I can dredge up the energy to enjoy myself. I should . . . I will . . . the cold wind will spark me, as it always does. But lord help us all. This is a terrifying moment.

Still, I feel some optimism. I think he will lose, though he'll flail and scream and scratch and claw as long as he can manage to do so.

I'm sending you love and hope.