Fog hangs thick over Portland, Maine, and the wet air smells like the sea. Here, in my lamp-lit room, the cat is lying on the floorboards in his silly inside-out position--back feet in the air, head twisted like an owl's; and I am sitting in my accustomed couch-corner drinking black coffee from a white cup-and-saucer; and Tom is upstairs, sighing and heaving himself out of bed; and Paul, who got home from work around midnight, is still sound asleep.
On the coffee table (which is really just a beat-up old chest) are four fat books: Hilary Mantel's The Mirror and the Light, a volume of William Blake's collected poems, David Treuer's The Heartbeat of Wounded Knee: Native America from 1890 to the Present, and Larry McMurtry's Lonesome Dove. In the corner are a violin case and a mandolin case. On the mantel are several large odd stones, a glass swan, a carved stone head, an empty vase, two beeswax candles made by a son's ex-girlfriend, a treasure chest, and a handsome broken clock.
Such is my milieu, at 6:15 on an early September morning, in this year of pandemic and fire and cruelty and protest and indifference and national decay.
Today I will plod through my accustomed rounds: house work, desk work, garden work. I'll cook something-or-other for dinner involving the fresh leeks my friend sent me from up north. I'll pray for rain.
Here's a poem that came out in Vox Populi last year. It's a September poem. I thought it might echo for you.
A Listener Sends Six Letters to God, in Autumn
Dawn Potter
Dear Sir, he wrote at dawn,
I am requesting your kind attention
to a perplexity, which is this:
that I believe I may be hearing
what otherwise cannot be heard,
and I am finding it necessary to become
a vessel for pouring this sound into the atmosphere,
if only I may have your assistance in the matter.
Dear Sir,
I pray you, accept this request
with all seriousness and haste.
Yours most truly,
and, with great care, he signed
A Friend.
*
Dear Sir, he wrote at dawn,
Today I trudged down the muddy lanes
that snake alongside the sluggish canal
or suddenly veer away, to writhe
among the narrow houses and shops
elbowing one another against the dingy
waterfront.
He paused. On his pen, a bubble of ink trembled.
You see I am avoiding
what I need to say.
Despite undue haste, I remain
The bubble fell, and blotted.
Your Servant.
*
Dear Sir, he wrote at dawn,
For three days now I have been writing letters
to you. I trust you know that they are always
the same letters, though my words are different.
I am practicing my scales, and my hands are dirty,
and the piano keys stick in the humid air.
Nonetheless, I am
Here a fingerprint appeared.
*
Dear Sir, he wrote at dawn,
Last evening, I walked, again,
along the canal and I felt
the crackle of my letter to you
as it lay inside my hat, I felt
the snag of the letter’s fold against
my hair, which, I admit,
is neither clean nor combed.
It was necessary to mail the missive.
The question was:
where were you most likely to receive it?
I chose to drop the paper into a farrier’s mossy well,
and perhaps you now hold it
in your dry, your supple hand.
Reveal to me a sign.
My landlady is importunate.
Impatient,
I am your humble
Here a small hole appeared.
*
Dear Sir, he wrote at dawn,
In truth I am becoming weary of this chore.
I distrust myself.
Last night, while I was at the piano,
my landlady pounded the butt end of a rusty musket
against my chamber door.
To all appearances, she hates my sonata.
Perhaps you, with your finer ear,
will despise it also. I cannot pinpoint,
in these waning days, what, if anything,
I trust.
Yours, in difficulty,
and now the handwriting became a broad scrawl
One Who Attempts Clarity.
*
Dear Sir, he wrote at dawn,
Persistence is a reckless master.
This will not be my final missive, it will not.
Maintain your vigilance. Hunt for notes
tied to the highest twigs of trees.
I have torn the sonata into shreds
and floated them in the canal. They
are not the letter I meant to write.
I believe you understand.
A breeze blows across the piano strings
and the machine strums its private tunes.
They are not mine. Perhaps they are yours.
I do not hear my own in any gale.
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