Dawn Potter
[This essay reworks material that will appear in The Conversation: Learning to Be a Poet (Deerbrook Editions, 2014). I recently received a rejection letter from a prominent teachers' journal (not for this piece but for work that will appear elsewhere in the book), which remarked that "your manuscript sounds a bit stilted to me. Try reading it out loud to yourself. Then have a friend read it out loud to you." While this strikes me as (1) hysterically funny, (2) bizarrely patronizing, and (3) possibly written by someone who doesn't read much Virginia Woolf, T. S. Eliot, Hayden Carruth, John Berryman, Michel de Montaigne, or James Baldwin, I'm willing to take your advice on the matter, should you feel like reading this essay aloud to yourself.]
Theodore Roethke wrote that “the
poem . . . means an entity, a unity has been achieved that transcends by far
the organization of the lecture, the essay, even the great speech.” The
sentence is key to reaching such poetic unity. It’s a blueprint for working out
what and how the poet thinks and feels. It’s a conduit for curiosity, a path
into mystery.
But sentences in
poetry are not simply blocks of meaning; they also exist as patterns of sound.
A sentence is supple and musical and physical, and more than one poet can
recall a childhood moment in which she experienced that viscerality. In her
essay “The Province of Radical Solitude,” Carolyn Forché writes:
The world hummed,
and my own speech rose above the humming and was measured by it. I didn’t know
what metered verse was, but I remember knowing that language rose and fell, and
that it occurred most pleasurably in utterances of similar length. One could
recite for hours the flow of language in patterns. My early musical and
rhythmic training derived from the Latin liturgy, most especially from litany
recitations and Gregorian plainsong. Rhythm, however, is of the body, and it
was during walks in childhood that I first sensed the relation between breath,
phrase, and heart. I spoke to the pounding.
How
does a poet write the kinds of sentences that create a response like Forché’s?
The answer is more flexible than you might imagine. Because grammar books tend
to treat sentences as recipes requiring precise ingredients, many students
think of a sentence as correct or incorrect, not as a personal exploration. In
contrast, The Oxford English Dictionary’s
definition focuses on the individuality of articulation rather than the rules
of the game: “[a sentence is] a series of words complete in itself as the
expression of a thought, containing or implying a subject and predicate, and
conveying a statement, question, exclamation, or command.”
In other words, sentences
comprise a large variety of language patterns, many of which don’t follow official
grammar-book prescriptions. So when I talk about sentences in poetry, I’m not
celebrating tidy subject-predicate combos and snarling about fragments and
comma splices. Rather, I’m thinking about the way in which a poet arranges
words to express a thought. In an effective sentence, the arrangement of words
is “complete in itself.” That is, the articulation has a beginning, a middle,
and an end. In addition, an effective sentence displays a particular pattern of
language: “a statement, question, exclamation, or command.”
The variations are
as individual as the poets who invent them. For instance, sentences may be
identical to lines of poetry, as they are in Jeanne Marie Beaumont’s “Afraid
So”:
Is it starting to rain?
Did the check bounce?
Are we out of coffee?
Is this going to hurt?
A sentence can fill up an entire
stanza, as it does in Maxine Kumin’s “Rehearsing for the Final Reckoning in
Boston”:
During the Berlioz Requiem in Symphony Hall
which takes even longer than extra
innings
in big league baseball, this
restless Jewish agnostic
waits to be pounced on, jarred by
the massive fanfare
of trombones and trumpets
assembling now in the second
balcony, left side, right side, and
at the rear.
A sentence may cross stanzas, as it
does in Alexander Pope’s “Ode on Solitude”:
Blest, who can unconcern’dly find
Hours,
days, and years slide soft away,
In health of body, peace of mind,
Quiet
by day,
Sound sleep by night; study and
ease,
Together
mixt; sweet recreation;
And Innocence, which most does
please
With
meditation.
Sentence boundaries may be
ambiguous, as they are in Lynn Emmanuel’s “Dressing the Parts”:
So, here we are,
I am a kind of diction
Despite their many
differences, all of these examples maintain allegiance to what Forché has called
“the flow of language in patterns.” Robert Frost named this flow the
“sentence-sound,” defining a sentence as “a sound in itself on which other
sounds called words may be strung.” By this, he didn’t mean any random clump of
words. “You may string words together without a sentence-sound to string them
on just as you may tie clothes together by the sleeves and stretch them without
a clothes-line between two trees but—it is bad for the clothes.” Thus, dog
buttermilk the in is not a sentence-sound.
But rearrange the words as dog in the buttermilk and suddenly “the sound of sense” is “apprehended by
the ear.”
Let’s consider the
maze of sentences that cohere into John Donne’s “The Triple Foole.”
The Triple
Foole
John Donne
I am two fooles, I know,
For loving, and for saying so
In
whining Poëtry;
But where’s that wiseman, that would not be I,
If
she would not deny?
Then as th’earths inward narrow crooked lanes
Do purge sea waters fretfull salt away,
I
thought, if I could draw my paines,
Through Rimes vexation, I should them allay.
Griefe brought to numbers cannot be so fierce,
For, he tames it, that fetters it in verse.
But
when I have done so,
Some man, his art and voice to show,
Doth
Set and sing my paine,
And, by delighting many frees againe
Griefe,
which verse did restraine.
To Love, and Griefe tribute of Verse belongs,
But not of such as pleases when ’tis read,
Both
are increased by such songs:
For both their triumphs so are published,
And I, which was two fooles, do so grow three;
Who are a little wise, the best fooles bee.
Lucille Clifton’s
poem “sorrows” opens with “who would believe them winged,” an unpunctuated,
uncapitalized line that is a clear, straightforward question. Her
sentence doesn’t require punctuation or capitalization to convey what Frost
called “the sound of sense.” In contrast, John Donne relies on ornate,
heavy-handed punctuation to demarcate the sentences in “The Triple Foole.”
Nevertheless, at first reading I’m not always convinced that what Donne has
marked out as a sentence is, in the OED’s
terms, “complete in itself as the expression of a thought.”
But what is “the
expression of a thought”? My own thoughts are frequently clotted, unclear, and
ambiguous; and it seems that Donne may have felt the same about his, for not much
in “The Triple Foole” can be called straightforward. Let’s look at the opening
sentence and track how the speaker moves grammatically through his own
perplexity.
I am two fooles, I
know,
For loving, and for saying so
In
whining Poëtry;
But where’s that wiseman, that
would not be I,
If
she would not deny?
The
sentence breaks neatly into halves. The first section, which ends at the
semicolon, lays out a claim (“I am two fooles, I know”) and follows with
supporting reasons. Foole 1 is foolish “For loving,” and Foole 2 is foolish
“for saying so / In whining Poëtry.” Thus far, the sentence seems to express a
coherent thought “complete in itself.”
But
after the semicolon, things get stranger. As the sentence shifts from a
statement to a question, the speaker lays out a series of linked but
incongruous phrases. “But where’s that wiseman,” he asks. Immediately he
undercuts the question with the self-deprecating “that would not be I.” Or
should I read this as an excuse rather than as modesty? Suddenly I find myself
not entirely trusting this speaker. What is he trying to evade? The sentence
continues, deepening my confusion. “If she would not deny?” Deny what? Are
words missing here? The sentence feels as if it’s been chopped off mid-phrase.
Typically, “deny” would be followed by a noun phrase or a dependent clause: for
instance, deny my love, deny that I am a foole. As it is, the question leaves me hanging. I don’t understand what’s
going on. All I know is that I am confused, suspicious of the speaker, and
curious about this enigmatic “she,” this mysterious “deny.”
“The
Triple Foole” is an early seventeenth-century poem. No doubt there’s a
scholarly edition that would translate its archaic sentences into contemporary
English, lifting my spirits and erasing my puzzlement. But even though I honor
such scholarship, I want to argue for the value of coming to a poem as it
exists, unadorned, on the page. I think it’s important to meet a difficult poem
on your own ground, to rely on your own wits and reactions as you wrestle with
it.
Are my reactions
to this sentence “correct”? If I were faced with a multiple-choice question
about “The Triple Foole,” I’d probably get the answer wrong. But when I ask
myself what I’ve learned, I see that I’ve made an important discovery. Pushing
myself to look closely at the structure of the sentence has also pushed me look
closely at the structure of a thought. And what I’ve learned is that, for some
poets, sentences really do seem to mirror thoughts. Clear or confused, simple
or complex, Donne’s thoughts unwind as his sentences unwind. When I read his
lines, I feel as if I am wandering along the pathways of his brain, at one
moment basking in his rational neatness, at another drowning in his tortuous
evasions. “Donne felt his thought as immediately as the odour of a rose,”
writes A. S. Byatt. Now I know what she means.
“The Triple Foole” is composed of
five sentences. Four of those sentences are constructed as intricate stacks of
clauses that fill between four and six lines. But the fifth sentence is notably
different:
Griefe brought to numbers cannot be
so fierce,
For, he tames it, that fetters it
in verse.
At only two lines
long, it is much shorter than every other sentence in the poem. This brevity
might not have surprised me if it had shown up in some other place. For
instance, if the poem had begun with a short sentence and then gradually
accrued into denser and denser sentences, I might have speculated about the way
in which the sentence structure was mirroring the speaker’s increasing
emotional turmoil. If the poem had ended with a short sentence, I might have
seen it as an epigrammatic conclusion, a succinct comment analogous to the
moral at the end of a fable.
But
Donne’s short sentence appears in the middle of the poem. Two long sentences
precede it; two more follow it. So I begin to mull over visual and structural
associations: fulcrum, keystone, waist, hourglass, heart. Does anything within this sentence support these
associations?
Most
of you have done enough close reading in college English courses to follow up
on that question yourself. My point here isn’t to give you answers about
meaning but to show you that a sentence’s style and its position in a poem can
trigger a curiosity that leads toward literary analysis. Sometimes scholarship
and craft can feel like two different roads into reading a difficult poem. If
you teach, you might find yourself focusing on analysis skills rather than
creative writing skills, or vice versa, as if the two are entirely unrelated.
By bringing them together, you allow both yourself and your students to think
of complex canonical literature, such as Donne’s poetry, as work that a real
person actually constructed from movable materials.
At six lines long, the final
sentence of “The Triple Foole” accounts for nearly a quarter of the poem.
To Love, and Griefe tribute of
Verse belongs,
But not of such as pleases when
’tis read,
Both
are increased by such songs:
For both their triumphs so are
published,
And I, which was two fooles, do so
grow three;
Who are a little wise, the best
fooles bee.
Despite its
length, the sentence seems to visually comply with traditional sentence
expectations. It begins with a capital letter and ends with a period. It is
composed of linked clauses, several of which begin with coordinating
conjunctions such as but, and, and for. These kinds of conjunctions tend to make a reader
feel rhetorically safe. They hint at a balanced argument, a weighing of
options. They imply logical progress from one idea to the next. But is logical
progress really what’s happening in this sentence? When I look more closely at
the punctuation, I begin to feel uneasy.
Lines 1 and 2 open
smoothly enough. In fact, “To Love, and Griefe tribute of Verse belongs, / But
not of such as pleases when ’tis read,” reads like a sentence unto itself.
Though the order is archaic and convoluted, the lines have a subject (“tribute
of Verse”) and an accompanying verb (“belongs”) with an attached prepositional
phrase (“To Love, and Griefe”). The second line is a dependent clause that
explains the qualities of this particular “tribute of Verse” (it’s not pleasant
when read). So far, so clear.
But line 2 ends
with a comma, indicating that the sentence isn’t over yet. So why, when I read
line 3, do I feel as if I am now in a completely different sentence? The
simplest response is because Donne has relied on a comma splice. That is,
instead of inserting a period or a semicolon after line 2, he has used a comma
to link an independent clause (“Both are increased by such songs:”) to what was
already a complete sentence.
You may be a
person with a hot, hot hate for so-called bad grammar. You may revile its versus it’s errors and snarl about dangling modifiers and split infinitives. But
for now I want you to stop spitting and snarling. I want you forget the fact
that seventeenth-century punctuation styles don’t follow the rules of
twenty-first-century grammar manuals. Simply I want you to
reread these three lines and ask yourself, Why is there a comma here?
When I think about
how a poet such as Gerard Manley Hopkins chose to punctuate his poems, I often
link many of those choices to his manipulation of sound. In Donne’s case,
however, I am less sure about the influence of sound. Does the sound of “The
Triple Foole” change radically if I insert a strong end-stopped pause rather
than a lighter comma pause? Yes, each reading does create a different effect in
my voice and on my ear. But more than the echo of music I hear the echo of
thought.
In lines 1 and 2,
Donne states that verse can be a tribute to either love or grief, and he tells
us that such tributes aren’t necessarily a pleasure to read about. Then in line
3 he rushes into his next idea: such tributes aren’t pleasant because verse
intensifies both love and grief. Is he making logical sense? Not necessarily. I
might argue that an increase in love can be pleasurable, even that an increase
in grief can have its self-absorbed allurements. But I think it’s important to
remember that thought isn’t logic. Thought is exploration. To my mind, Donne’s
comma splice is somewhat analogous to the light bulb that appears over a
cartoon character’s head. “Idea!” it shouts.
Let’s keep pushing
into the sentence. Line 3 ends with a colon. Here again, we have a situation
that might be called a sentence break. Why did Donne choose to break his
thought with a long exhale rather than an actual stop?
Read further down
into line 5, which ends with a semicolon. In modern English grammar, a
semicolon links two independent clauses. In other words, it functions as a kind
of hybrid period/comma. But this isn’t a case of two independent clauses. Line
6 is a straightforward dependent clause—a place I might have expected to see a
comma. Why didn’t Donne choose to use one here?
How do these
punctuation choices—a colon, then a semicolon—affect your sense that the poet
is working, in the OED’s terms,
with “a series of words complete in itself as the expression of a
thought”? I’m not going to answer such questions for you, although I hope you
take the time to puzzle over them yourself. As I’ve already said, my goal here
is to show you how to open doors into the poem, not to explicate it for you. By
paying attention to sentence structure, sentence punctuation, and sentence
position, you will be using the solid elements of language as touchstones for
your own curiosity. You can analyze for meaning; you can focus on dramatic
movement; you can bask in the cadence of the language. There are many ways to
read a poem, and there are moments in your life when one type of reading will
be more vital than another. But the poet’s language choices always remain at
the root of those readings.
7 comments:
I have a friend whose daughter is in a long-distance learning class and was given "F" on an analysis of a poem because it contained too many semicolons. Never mind that every semicolon was used correctly and that the analysis rivaled that of published critics.
Amazing, isn't it? I'd actually been warned by a poet/teacher friend that teachers' journals would be very unlikely to publish my (or his) thoughts about teaching poetry. I wondered what he meant, and now I know.
But after the semicolon, things get stranger. As the sentence shifts from a statement to a question, the speaker lays out a series of linked but incongruous phrases. “But where’s that wiseman,” he asks. Immediately he undercuts the question with the self-deprecating “that would not be I.” Or should I read this as an excuse rather than as modesty? Suddenly I find myself not entirely trusting this speaker. What is he trying to evade? The sentence continues, deepening my confusion. “If she would not deny?” Deny what? Are words missing here? The sentence feels as if it’s been chopped off mid-phrase. Typically, “deny” would be followed by a noun phrase or a dependent clause: for instance, deny my love, deny that I am a foole. As it is, the question leaves me hanging. I don’t understand what’s going on. All I know is that I am confused, suspicious of the speaker, and curious about this enigmatic “she,” this mysterious “deny.”
I am two fooles, I know,
For loving, and for saying so
In whining Poëtry;
But where’s that wiseman, that would not be I,
If she would not deny?
There is no wise man who would not choose to be me, if she would not deny my request for love (sex) but accept it. Really not so hard.
Bill, thank you for this brilliant comment. (I've been away, so I apologize for not responding sooner.) I agree with you: "things get stranger." The movement of the sentence is, as you describe it and as I also experienced it, at the heart of this poem's mystery. Yes, on one level, I know what the speaker is trying to get across. On another level, I hear everything you note: modesty, excuses, self-deprecation, untrustworthiness, evasion. Thanks for explicating the enigma so cogently.
You're welcome. BTW the first part was a quotation from you.
Can you tell I've been sleep-deprived for a week?!
Hardly noticed.
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