Two feet of new snow. Plow Guy stuck in the driveway. Husband on phone, calling Gas-Station Guy, in search of Front-End-Loader Guy.
Stay tuned for the next thrilling installment of Guys in Hats Battle Nature with Busted-Up Machines.
And here is that promised next thrilling installment:
Front-End Loader Guy telephones. Says he can't come till 3. Sounds tired, as if every driveway in town is dealing with a stuck Plow Guy.
In other news: We have now discovered that Big Town Plow-Truck Guy decapitated our mailbox in the night.
Meanwhile, Poodle is angsty because she can't figure out how to pee in snow that's two feet deep. Also, Plow Guy = Evil and therefore must be fretted over for hours. Cat is insulted by weather and machines in driveway. Decides to release his ire by clawing up a chair and a yoga mat.
As a break from the regularly scheduled snow programming:
You might care to read Nin Andrews's interview with me.
And what is Teenage Guy doing today, you ask?
Still wearing bathrobe. Cranking show tunes/Daftpunk/Lorde/Band covers of Springsteen on his iPad. Eating cheesy omelet. Baking molasses cookies. Getting scratched by Cat, who remains insulted by weather, despite spending several hours on comfortable chair pulled up to woodstove.
His mother warns him that shoveling snow lies in his near future, but he still refuses to get dressed.
5 p.m. Front-End-Loader Guy update:
Neither hide nor hair. Which is to say, do not attempt to visit me and/or leave me any mail. You will be sorry. Don't make Burglar Guy's mistake either.
7 p.m. two-for-the-price-of-one update:
Not only Front-End-Loader Guy but a chimney fire! So much excitement. [P.S. The chimney fire was small. Do not worry.]