Only in Maine would anyone believe that a 40-degree potato barn would be the ideal place to shoot a music video. To be honest, I have to say that the scene did have a certain quaintness to it: wooden crates, wisps of dusty sunshine, a deer winch . . . because there's nothing quainter than the iron hook assembly used for stringing up the large animal you've just shot. Also there was a good view of the handsome old galvanized tub used for holding the deer's cleaned-out guts, not to mention a picturesque old gat-toothed buck saw posed dangerously over a quaint door like the sword of Damocles.

The rest of the barn was filled with un-photogenic materials such as potato graders (which look like smaller versions of rock sorters at a gravel pit), broken plastic tubs, electrical cords, fenceposts, boxes and boxes and boxes of potatoes, a meaningless furnace, and dirt.

Anyway, we played the same song about twenty times and got our pictures taken. And then we went outside into the 20-degree howling wind and walked up and down a dirt driveway together and got our pictures taken. And then I went home and ate cheese and crackers and climbed under the couch blanket and watched English premier league football with my son and read a Margaret Atwood novel and fell into a coma, and this morning I am still cold.

Clearly there was a reason that ZZ Top grew those beards and played furry guitars. They had to avoid frostbite during the music video.