Please do not send out rejection letters that include intended-to-be-encouraging comments such as "We enjoyed reading these two, the voice is very good." Yes, I know the voice is very good. I've spent twenty years refining it. I also know what a comma splice is.
Pardon the snottiness, but really: condescension is avoidable. You don't need to accept a poem you don't like, but you ought to be able to recognize the work of an experienced writer, especially since you presumably have read the biographical statement that your guidelines requested.
And now, with great exasperation, I will become polemical about punctuation. Anyone who teaches or edits writing--at any level, kindergarten through graduate school--should know how to avoid a comma splice. For God's sake, this is a ninth-grade grammar topic. Or perhaps I'm being too generous here: maybe it's a seventh-grade grammar topic. I am not talking about artists who purposely use comma splices for effect: Iris Murdoch, for instance. I am talking about basic communication. If you are an editor or if you teach writing, do not send anyone a business letter that includes a comma splice. Possibly your recipient might overlook the fact that you don't seem to know the different between a common noun and a proper noun. Possibly she might forgive your misuse of semicolons or your love affair with utilize and signage. Certainly she will understand that sentence fragments have their uses, and she will ignore typos because we all make them. But a comma splice guarantees that you, the letter writer, will look like an idiot. And because you are most likely not an idiot but an intelligent, perceptive human being, you would be well served to either hone your grammar or switch to a vocation that doesn't depend on demonstrated control of written English.
In some future rant, I may take up the subject of fatuous apostrophes as well as the mysterious disappearance of the comma in direct address. Till then, this blog will return to its usual tantrum-free programming.
Sincerely,
The Crank
6 comments:
Oh, be still my grammar-cranky heart! I cannot stand the lack of correct grammar (or the awareness thereof) in all aspects of my current life. Bad enough the condescending, canned rejection letters (or strips of paper actually) and bad enough that good writing is often trumped by gimmicky writing or "poured out angst," but the proliferation of comma splices and contractions sans apostrophes is making my brain ache. I'd take a mixed metaphor any day over these!
"You know what we shoulda did?" quote from a colleague
As a recovering comma-hunter, I love this. xxxxj
Oh my god, hilarious. ;) Please feel free to have a tantrum any time!
Julia, I always worry about being a brat. Glad that it went over okay. . . .
How do you know Iris Murdoch deliberately used comma splices? I love her books but hate her punctuation. It distracts from enjoying the story. I am very intrigued, therefore, to read from you that it was deliberate. May I ask his hiw you found this out? Thanks in advance!
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