Facebook Is Strange

Now that I have had a Facebook account for 10 days or so, I feel experienced enough to hazard a few generalizations.

1. High school acquaintances were the first "friends" I "met." In high school I was scared of many of these people, so I was bewildered by their apparent eagerness to find out who I was and what I was doing. Most of them want to throw virtual food at one another. I have no idea why.

2. College acquaintances were less scary but still odd. Many were good at inventing witty status lines. Perhaps that is a side-effect of an expensive education. By and large I found myself communicating most often with the people I knew least well. My closest friends never wrote to me at all.

3. Present-day acquaintances from town make very odd epistolary "friends," especially if they are under age 15. They enjoy spelling with as few letters as possible. Sometimes they forget they've added all their friends' parents as "friends" and publicly reveal themselves in extended, purposeless swearing bouts. They take many quizzes such as "What dog are you?," constantly update their relationship information, and photoshop celebrities into their profile pictures. They become fans of aluminum foil and breathing.

4. Between 7:03 and 7:07 p.m., a 13-year-old "friend" became a fan of tacos, venison, beef jerky, hot chocolate, root beer, hot fudge sundaes, hot fudge brownie sundaes, and hot fudge sundae Poptarts. This is the exact order. I find it interesting that he started with savory dishes, moved on to drinks, and then ended with desserts.