Just for the record, and to clear up any misapprehensions about my character, I hate the Common Ground Fair. (To get a reasonably accurate picture of what this fair entails, non-Mainers need only to know that that it is the pet moneymaking project of the Maine Organic Farmers and Gardeners Association. No genetically modified corndogs. No rides. No coffee.)

As a political liberal with strong interests in gardening, local food, and humane animal husbandry, you'd think I'd love this fair. But the atmosphere is so goddamn preachy and we're-more-moral-than-you-regular-provincial-hicks that it makes me want to kick someone . . . although Tom and the boys and I did spend an enjoyable half-hour sitting beside the veggie tempura booth inventing inappropriate T-shirt slogans. Our best effort was "So Many Folk Singers, So Few Recipes," but we had many other good ones as well.