A two-day rainstorm is a magnificent gift. So far, close to an inch has fallen, and the shrubs and garden plants look drunk. No wonder: after a two-month drought, I feel kind of drunk too.

I managed to soothe Chuck into letting me sleep in a little this morning, and now the two of us are cozily curled up together in our couch corner, listening to the slow click and tap of raindrops. Sunday morning. Rain, hot coffee, a bowl of kitten chow, and a pal. What could be more luxurious?

Yesterday's lunch at the seafood warehouse was delicious and also very amusing. The company is Japanese-owned and specializes in processing urchins (uni) and sea cucumbers for the Asian market. But they are also open daily for lunch. We bought trays of sashimi, whelk, some cooked rice, some nori, and carried them all upstairs to the employee break room. The price was reasonable, the fish was off-the-boat fresh, and most of the other diners appeared to be Japanese. A sign on the wall informed us: "Do Not Drinking." I can't wait to go back.

Look how wonderful it is to spend time with the gifts of other cultures. Yet while I'm peacefully eating Japanese food in Maine, the residents of Pilsen, my son's Chicago neighborhood, are petrified. The area is majority Mexican American, and people know that Trump is targeting them--these modest families, pushing their grocery carts through the aisles, walking their children to school. I love that neighborhood so much, and I am sick over the thought of ICE agents and National Guard troops terrorizing it. And of course I am scared for my son and future daughter-in-law, who are white American citizens but also highly likely to intervene in any wickedness they see.

Well, what can a parent do but quietly stand back and say, I raised a righteous child. And now his righteousness is being put to the test.

The morning is dark and mild. Through the open windows I hear crickets creak and, beyond them, the low growl of the highway.

I am up far too early on a Saturday morning, but Chuck is irrepressible. He is four months old now, and we are firmly in toddler land. I wail, "Can you deal with the cat? He's trying to climb me while I'm peeling potatoes," and T, like a good partner, swoops up the pest and takes him away. The living room floor is covered with cardboard boxes. We're woken at 3 by a joyous monster. Our conversation is dominated by discussions of bodily functions. We've both found ourselves automatically doing the baby-joggle when we hold him.

Of course, now that he's forked me out of bed, Hasty Stan himself has gone back to sleep. He's curled up next to me on the couch, little bat ears nestled against my hip, a portrait of Good Boy. Hah.

We're supposed to get some solid rain this weekend, starting midafternoon. T and I have plans to go out to lunch with our neighbor, at a seafood wholesaler she's learned about: apparently you can get platters of fresh sashimi and uni and eat them in the company breakroom, and we are eager to check it out. Then, if the rain holds off,  the three of us might mosey along Congress Street . . . look at a book fair, go to some vintage stores, investigate the flea market.

I'm still reading Ozick's Trust, recommended by my novelist friend Tom. I'm also looking again at Margaret Atwood's Cat's Eye, and I need to get started on Brigit Kelly's collection The Orchard, which Teresa and I will be rereading together. With Betsy, I've starting a listening project: Beethoven's late string quartets. Valerie and I are watching the new season of the British baking show together. Gretchen and I go for walks and imagine performances centered around slate and ice. T and I are team-raising yet another crazy little boy. Hey, friends, it's so good to know you all.

It's raining!

Chuck, confused by the unfamiliar tap and click, has been wandering wide-eyed around the house. Now he has settled on the back of the couch, perplexed but lulled, staring into the dark maw of the window.

We're supposed to have off-and-on rain for the next few days, and I fervently hope for more on than off. How beautiful it would be to enjoy a weekend of wet. 

Yesterday I chipped away at five different poem drafts, read a chunk of Ozick's novel Trust, got the house cleaned, went out to write. Today is recycling day, sheet-washing day, probably errand-running day; but then I can turn my thoughts back to the drafts. I can't tell what I think of the Ozick yet: it seems to be too aware of its own irony, but it was a young person's novel so that's forgivable. It is vast and messy and surprising and exuberant; also judgmental; also ridiculous, especially in its figurative language and its stock characters: "lawyers," "poets," "society girls," "rich people." Reading it feels like living inside the head of an imperfectly observant but very opinionated, ambitious, performative, and overreaching 1960s-era young woman novelist, so in that way it is a complete success.

Shopping

Yesterday, after unloading a few bags of things at the Goodwill, I went inside to see if I might want to bring home any previously owned stuff to fill the gap left by the removal of my own previously owned stuff. Ah, the vicious Goodwill circle . . . Though I am not in general very tempted by shopping, I do enjoy moseying through the crazy disorder of the books and housewares, and yesterday I found the complete poems of James Wright and two sturdy plain drinking glasses of the sort that Tom had recently broken. Success! So then I thought I'd take a look at the clothes--these days almost always a waste of time at the Goodwill, now that the vintage buyers skim everything off first. But magically I found a beautiful red suede jacket that fits me like a glove and will look grand with the jeans I bought a few weeks ago . . . and get this: they are jeans in a size smaller than my usual one. I mean, what's with that? I'm almost 61 and I've dropped a size? What is this miracle?

Names

As you know, Little Chuck's full name is Charles Snowball Dirtball Van Pelt. But naturally he's acquired a few more, to be deployed in special circumstances. When he sits around sweetly, Tom pats him on the head and says, Aw, Charles. When he is his everyday spunky self, he is Hey, Chuck, stop that. But during periods of hysteria, when he is pushing silverware on the floor and climbing on the counters and worming his way into the open dishwasher and galloping up and down the stairs like a lunatic, he is Hasty Stan Stanwood, star player for the Black Sox. We had some serious Hasty Stan action last night, when he dumped a water glass all over the dining room table, just as I was getting ready to serve dinner. My son refers to this as velociraptor behavior: those moments when a kitten almost seems to become airborne. Put Hasty Stan on first and he'll steal third in the blink of an eye. It makes for an exciting mealtime.

Books

I finished rereading Robert Louis Stevenson's Kidnapped, one of the great book loves of my life. And then I finished reading Sarah Ruden's I Am the Arrow, in which she uses six Plath poems as a way to talk about Plath's writing and life. I've already read a great deal about Plath, and I've already spent a lot of time with Plath's poems. Is it wrong to say that I've reached the stage when I no longer care about anyone else's close readings?

This is the apple pie I baked yesterday afternoon, the first apple pastry of the season, and I have to say that I am smug about its good looks. For reasons best known to itself, the crust behaved beautifully--no rips, no sticking--and the filling was tender but not soggy. (I dislike a gluey, flour-packed filling but I do like a pie I can slice.) Now, if I only knew how to center a photograph. . . .

It was a big kitchen day: in addition to the pie, I roasted a chicken and made gravy and a big corn and vegetable salad. Now we'll have cooked chicken to work with for a few days, and today I've got another round of tomatoes to simmer down into sauce, chard to prep for a tian, and lots of leftover apple pie. Seems like a reasonable start to September.

I need to run a few errands today, and I need to get back to my desk and look hard at some poems. Yesterday my friend Betsy dropped by with a present she'd bought for me as thanks for reading her manuscript . . . though all I had said to her afterward was "This is a great poetry collection! I have nothing to recommend! It's wonderful!" So I do feel as if I wasn't in fact all that helpful, though maybe praise is good enough on its own. It was a manuscript that didn't need me in the slightest. But Betsy brought me a present anyway.

The task did remind me that I ought to gird my loins and start looking at my own piles of uncollected poems. Do I want to make another book? I guess I do. Right now I just don't know how to get myself ready to start. Eventually, if the past is any indicator, I'll be seized with a sudden organizational idea and then I'll tear into the project. For now, though, submit submit is too weighty a chant. Ugh. 

Yesterday's ferry hop out to the islands was perfect--beautiful soft weather, no crowds, and we timed our trip for low tide so we could walk across the sandbar from Little Diamond to Great Diamond. We ate a picnic lunch in the shade, we picked our way over a beach where the only other visitors were three women reading books, we wandered gravel roads and paths, and we got home in time for an afternoon nap.

It's sad that the work week returns so quickly, but thus is time and here we are again. Little Chuck, who had a spurt of badness yesterday evening (pushing silverware off the dining room table, sneaking onto the counter in pursuit of cheese), is curled up on my shoulder in the guise of a good little boy. But such laziness cannot continue. I need to grocery-shop today, and send in my passport renewal, and deal with a pile of laundry. I ought to start thinking about high school class plans. I have two poem drafts smoldering and a box of stuff to cart to the Goodwill.

Yesterday I finished reading Toibin's The South, and for the moment I'm passing the time with Stevenson's Kidnapped till I step back into serious concentration.

Today is the first day of school in Portland, and my walk will be crowded with parents and children. A few leaves are changing color; a few are beginning to fall. My Poetry Kitchen class is full (actually too full, amazingly). I've got so much work looming. But for the moment I will idle, watching the families hurry by, watching the songbirds strip the last of the berries from the bushes. I feel invisible. It is not so bad.

I've just woken up from a very disturbing dream-visitation featuring a Harmony friend who was murdered more than a decade ago. In my dream I had no recollection of her actual fate: we were just two people walking sociably around a fair together (the fairground was my Harmony land), talking and laughing and watching our neighbors bustle among rides and buildings. But as soon as I woke, I was appalled.

So now I am sitting here in my couch corner with a weight on my heart. Poor tragic Amy. Her children were also murdered, but in my dream there were no children, neither hers nor mine. It was just the two of us and, far off, a glimpse of her father talking to Tom. "Let's go see your dad," I remember suggesting. We tried to make our way through the crowd. But we never got there before I woke up.

I should write to her mother about this visitation. If Amy has come back from the dead, even so fleetingly, her mother must be told.

Well, that dream will color the day, no question. Tom is going to take our photos this morning so that we can send in our passports for renewal. We are planning a midday picnic and stroll on the Diamond Islands. But in the meantime Amy will walk beside me across my lost land, and her father will never get to see her.