We had yet another bat in our bedroom last night, and we are flummoxed. How do they keep getting in? We've hunted down and blocked every crack we can find, but the bats are still winning. It's very annoying for everyone, except for Little Chuck, who is thrilled.

Of course it is easy to thrill Little Chuck. Presently he is bashing around the living room in pursuit of a dry leaf--chirruping to himself, then suddenly freezing, stagey and wild-eyed, like Jerry Lewis crashing a party.

Other than kitten rowdiness, yesterday was quiet--mostly desk work, a bit of gardening, a dash out to the grocery store. For dinner I made bluefish fillets en papillote, steaming them with couscous, dill, parsley, red onion, and harissa and serving them alongside a corn and lettuce salad, with nectarine crisp for dessert. Parchment steaming is such an easy and delicious way to serve fillets; sometimes I forget how much I like the method. 

Today the air continues to be humid and smoke-hazy and rainless, but it's not overly hot, so that's one good thing. In a few minutes I'll hoist myself off this couch and get onto my mat, get out to the clotheslines, get back to my desk. Little Chuck, presently draped over my typing hands, is hoping to thwart these useful plans, but he'll be disappointed. Fortunately, however, he is an optimist and will cheer up as soon as I toss him a crumpled leaf.

A cool, still morning. Last night, driving back from Freeport, where we'd gone to watch an open-air movie, I caught sight of the moon, half-cookie-shaped and tinted a strange and brilliant orange. We wondered then if that was the result of forest-fire smoke, and I think it must have been because today's forecast predicts another plume over Maine. 

This morning I'll go out for a walk, and then I'll be back at my desk. I'm hoping to finish up the editing project this week, and then I'll turn my thoughts to a couple of poetry manuscripts I'm reading for friends. On Wednesday I'll be zooming with Jeannie and Teresa; on Friday I'm going to have lunch with a poet friend from San Francisco. I hope all of this poet contact rubs off on me and I suddenly start writing poems myself. It's not like I'm not writing, though I'm definitely not in the zone. But maybe once I get this editing manuscript done, my chore brain will return to its wandering ways.

I did catch up with herb harvesting this weekend, and I also got the mowing and trimming done, so this week I hope to slowly work on weeding and flower deadheading, if the afternoons aren't too hot. Tonight I'll make bluefish with dill sauce with maybe Yorkshire pudding on the side. We've already got an overload of desserts--both nectarine crisp and a batch of mint ice cream. Summer is the season of quick, do something with that fruit before the fruit flies move in, and then, voila, there's too much food.

I'm back to reading The Leopard, back to wondering what I'll read next when I've finished it for the twentieth time. I'm feeling pleased about the Red Sox, who are suddenly behaving like a competitive team. Little Chuck, who had a great night's sleep, is chasing an empty seed packet through a maze of chair legs in the dining room. T is making his lunch, and I am hoping that no groundhogs are eating my vegetables, and this day should be okay, this day should be fine, I am alive here on this little plot of earth, My heartbeat yearns . . . Are you there? it asks. Who is listening? it asks. What song should I sing?

Little Chuck is shocked by the articles in the New Yorker but he does enjoy the cartoons. What he doesn't enjoy is sitting in the window watching his family have fun outside without him. He wailed as I pulled garlic and prepped the bed for spinach. He wailed as T stacked lumber. We felt sad too. Ruckus was such company in the yard, and we'd love to mentor another neighborhood character. But even though Little Chuck promises to be good, we have our doubts.

Yesterday was my first big basil harvest--a dishpan piled with fragrant green that I transformed into pesto for the freezer. I also made ice cream with fresh mint, a wondrous discovery. I harvested a cabbage before the groundhog got it as well as a handful of green beans. Other than herbs, my only strong crops right now are lettuce, cucumbers, and chard. Better than nothing, though. Much better than nothing. With a groundhog in the picture, nothing is a strong possibility.

One thing I did yesterday was to write an open letter about the Conference on Poetry & Learning. If you're on my mailing list, you received it through email, and I posted it on Facebook as well.

A few things became clear after this year's conference, First, and most importantly, both participants and faculty love it, and believe in it, and want to keep coming back to Monson Arts. The participant evaluations I received brought me to tears: people were generous with praise, giddy with excitement about their own potential. Doing this work feels so important, so necessary, but it's also so thrilling. To work as an artist, seriously, with confidence and curiosity. To work without ego. This is what I want for participants and faculty, and it's what I want for myself.

The primary issue now is scholarship money. I could have filled every space if I'd had enough funds, but I didn't. We need to build a substantial, reliable scholarship fund, and I, who am terrible at asking for money, need to find a way to get better at it, and find people who have the means and willingness to respond.

If you didn't happen to see the letter I sent out yesterday, here it is, with details from the evaluations and a link to the Monson Arts donation portal--

****

This summer’s Conference on Poetry and Learning at Monson Arts was so special. Not only did I have the privilege of working with and alongside the magnificent faculty artists Teresa Carson, Gwyneth Jones, and Gretchen Berg, but the commitment and the brilliance of the participants was both exhilarating and humbling, in all the best ways. We experimented, we collaborated; we were awkward and hilarious, and the words and the feelings poured forth.

Here's what the participants had to say about our week together:

This conference feeds educators and artists both practically and personally. There is an understanding that who we are is not separate from what we do and that we need to tend to and nurture ourselves both professionally and personally. The facilitators of this conference help foster an environment of collaboration and curiosity that enriches the participants at all levels. I walk away with new understandings as an artist, an educator, and a human being in this world. 

Everything about this conference is set up to create an open and supportive environment for participants to explore the possibilities of creative expression, to experience new ways to write and teach. We play and we make things, make discoveries, and take delight in each other’s work. It’s quite remarkable, created by remarkable teachers. 

The faculty provided a unique and edifying experience with a variety of activities. This was one of the best conferences I have ever attended; it enriched my teaching as well as my own personal writing. I will definitely attend again in the future!

Monson Arts offers stellar time and place for every imagination to connect with others and to enlarge one's consciousness of what matters most in life. It's worth every effort in any season and season of life to experience the Conference on Poetry and Learning in this small town of extraordinary beauty and taste on the shores of Lake Hebron.

I found so much hope and joy in creating in community.

I'm so grateful for this beautiful experience. I wrote, I read, I swam in the lake, I kayaked, I wrote, I ate THE BEST food . . . it's been so wonderful. I'm so relaxed and happy; it's been a huge confidence boost. Seriously, it's so inspiring to be in a safe space, a community, of writers who are so nice and supportive. I can't even describe how magical, inspirational, comforting, and cathartic it has been. I remembered I'm a poet, a really good one, actually.

Not your conventional conference. More like a week of magic. 

The combination of skillful and approachable content providers, comfortable accommodations, great food, Maine woods, and a beautiful lake is unbeatable. Add a charming public library, a general store with an ice cream stand, and you will have an image of a summer week at Monson Arts. I dreamed about Monson and the human connections I made there for three nights after I came home. That has never happened to me after a workshop anywhere else. 

The Monson Arts Conference on Poetry & Learning is an extraordinary experience. If you like writing poetry or would like to explore your own writer self, this is a thoughtful and engaging program. As a teacher, you will take away a lot of great ideas to bring back to your classroom. As a writer, you'll learn exciting ways to engage with your work. Whether you are a teacher or a writer or both, this conference offers so much! 

But here’s the deal, friends. Many participants—past, present, and future--are facing the fact that their institutions are increasingly reluctant to financially support professional development. Others have no institutional support whatsoever. So in order to keep supporting teachers and poets in need, we must build a reliable scholarship fund. If you are able to donate to our scholarship fund, in whatever amount, we’d be so grateful. Every cent will go directly to participants who cannot otherwise afford to attend. And if you could commit to an annual donation, especially one that would cover full tuition for a teacher or poet in need, that would be amazing. Contact Chantal Harris, the executive director at Monson Arts, to discuss how best to set up an annual gift to the program (director@monsonarts.org).

Please be in touch with any questions. I so hope to see you in Monson with us next summer—

XX

Dawn

Suddenly autumn feels very close. Outside it's only 55 degrees, and the air is very still and dry and crisp, a relief and a surprise after a week or more of high humidity and Canadian smoke.

Little Chuck woke me at 5 a.m. by chasing his tail all over the bed. The good news is that he wasn't doing this at 2 a.m., which, in kitten land, is a highly respectable time to be busy. To our benefit, Little Chuck is an excellent sleeper, with a more or less human clock. I do wish he wouldn't start his night by stuffing his entire body directly under my chin, but he does eventually move, and usually I wake up to find him coiled between our backs, like he's a hockey referee breaking up a fight.

Now he's sitting happily in an open window keeping a sharp eye out for groundhogs, and I am enjoying a vacation from trying to type while he's also trying to type. Upstairs T is sleeping blissfully through his weekday alarm time, and now Little Chuck pat-pat-pats down the stairs and I hear the crunch of chow between his tiny sharp teeth. Saturday is off to a fine start for all.

Today I'll probably work outside--do some weeding and mowing, harvest garlic, plant fall spinach--and I'd like to mess around with a poem, and I should get started on the Whitman reading I'm doing with Teresa, and I wonder what I'll be making for dinner. This weekend there's a big music festival happening down along Back Cove, and I suspect traffic will be snarled and all day the aether will resonate with unidentifiable bass lines.

Little Chuck, who has wedged himself against my laptop and is now staring enthusiastically into my face, is confident that the day will be great. He is a thorough optimist, is Little Chuck. Considering that he spent his first weeks of life in dreadful hoarding conditions, and that he's still a skinny up-and-comer after that rough start, his daily delight in the world is touching in the extreme.

A soft rain fell all night, and this morning the maples are dripping and the crickets are singing and a purring, wide-awake kitten is sitting on my hands as I try to type. Suddenly it's Friday, suddenly August--somehow this week has flown by. I suppose that's Little Chuck at work: he's a sunbeam, for sure.

Last night I went out to write and now I have a couple of new drafts to play with. I do have editing to work on today, and floors to clean, and sheets to wash. I need to get onto my mat, and haul the trash and recycling to the curb. I have a friend's manuscript to read. But it's sweet to have those drafts floating in my notebook, waiting. And who knows? Maybe I'll find the nest of an hour today, when the poems rise up to greet me.

Through the open window, an unknown bird repeats, repeats, repeats its metallic squeak. Summer . . . every year an elegy. 

I forgot to mention skunk on yesterday's Alcott House wildlife list. One passed through the yard last night, and the smell gave Little Chuck quite a surprise. In other news, maybe we've finally conquered the bat problem. I found a gap behind the trim on one of the bedroom windows, which T caulked up last night. Here's hoping we've finally plugged the hole.

Not much desk work will get done today. The sweep is coming this morning to clean the chimney, so I will be on Little Chuck patrol. Then I'm getting a haircut, and then I'll have to bake something or other for my evening writing group, and in between times I'll scrub bathrooms and get started on floors, if I can take my eyes off that cat. Wriggling into soot seems like a hobby he'd really enjoy.

We're supposed to get some rain this evening and into tomorrow. I hope that's true. A good soaking rain would be so pleasant. Yesterday I cut the season's first baby cabbage (magically untouched by the groundhog) and stir-fried it with fresh red onion, soy-roasted tofu, and lots of cilantro, green garlic, and Thai basil. I do love kitchen-garden life--wandering out late in the afternoon to ponder "What do I have? And what can I do with it?" It is such a luxurious way to cook.

Teresa and I are beginning to cogitate about next year's conference theme, and the word that is resonating is transformations. I thought, during the stress of the past few weeks, How will I ever dredge up the energy to invent new plans? But now I am full of ideas and excitement about new plans--next year's conference, my upcoming Poetry Kitchen class, my high school sessions. And I have a new poem draft, and I'm going out to write again tonight . . . It is such a relief to feel my mind back at work.

Yesterday was so hot. But today should be somewhat cooler, and then tomorrow and Thursday we've got rain in the forecast, so maybe Maine will become more like Maine again.

Early this morning we had another bat in the bedroom. We can't figure out how they're getting in, but clearly there's a gap somewhere. The Alcott House certainly has had its share of wildlife excitement this summer: deer in the driveway, raccoons in the flowerpots, groundhogs munching up the cauliflower plants, squirrels scrabbling in the walls, bats flitting over the bed. Of course I am grateful there haven't been rats, which is what our Chicago kids have to deal with.

At least Little Chuck enjoyed the bat. "It's a bird! It's a mouse! It's both!" he squeaked. "This new home has everything!"

I'll get back onto my mat this morning, then back to my desk. I've managed to pull together a decent draft syllabus for my upcoming Poetry Kitchen class, I'm making good progress on the editing project, and Teresa and I have started to rough-cut the shape of next year's conference. My brain is beginning to function normally again: my imagination is returning; I'm starting to think again. It seems silly to chalk this up to "I've got a pet in the house," but honestly that's what's made the difference. I'm so much happier, so much more pulled together, when I've a little body to hug and tease and chide and (maybe this is most important?) story-tell about.