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Sunday, September 11, 2011

All week I've been trying to ignore the ever-increasing frenzy about the tenth anniversary of the World Trade Center attacks. The more I hear, the more silent I want to become. Yes, I remember what I was doing that morning. I was sitting at my desk editing when my friend Allison called to tell me what had happened. And yes, my first response was horror and fear and a desperate, irrational anxiety about my children, one of whom was at school interrupting his second-grade teacher without raising his hand first, the other of whom was watching Teletubbies and spilling American chop suey down the front of his overalls at my friend Tina's house. I had no reason to fear for them, but I was terribly afraid.

Three of my classmates at Haverford College were killed among the Cantor Fitzgerald casualties. Several of the terrorists made their way to New York by way of Maine. Friends who were living in Brooklyn recall that the sky was filled with ash and paper for days. It was a terrible moment. Yet Americans, as is our wont, have translated this violence into an exemplar of singular and specific American suffering. For the most part, the students I teach have almost no comprehension of the history of terrorism beyond their own borders. When I introduce them to Wislawa Szymborska's poem "The Terrorist, He's Watching" and then tell them it was written in the 1970s, they are shocked.

So when anniversaries such as this one come around--these public moments that herd us once again into bovine Americana--I don't find myself rallying around the flag. I love my country and I grieve for our loss. But I also grieve for our blindness and our ignorance, and for the way in which we continue, as a people, to celebrate these flaws as strengths.

6 comments:

  1. Well said, my dear Dawn. My flag is out and I am thinking of "that" time. I amalso planning how I will talk about this tomorrow in class. I was watching the weather in 5ht grade science class 10 years ago; it was interrupted with news of Towers 1's demise. It does seem now that our lives were rather permanently interrupted, not just the weather.

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  2. A friend's post today is a simple completely black square titled "Silence".

    My college class lost one of our members, also a Cantor employee; our church has families who lost loved ones at the Pentagon; a close friend who worked with all the people at Windows on the World lost more than two dozen of her friends that morning.

    We remember, but within narrowly drawn lines. No one has remarked on all the lives lost since the wars began; no one even knows their names.

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  3. True, Maureen; very true. And that phrase "between narrowly drawn lines" is beautiful.

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  4. Thank you, Dawn! Well said.

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  5. At last, someone who thinks these thoughts out loud. I was in a workshop recently where there was a poem read about 9/11 that was heart-wrenching. I didn't dare read mine after that because I feared the rest of the room would find it disrespectful (several had personal connections to 9/11). I risk posting it here:


    9/11 was sad, but there has been other sadness

    Towers and flame, ashy bodies
    falling from windows
    that fell too, sinking
    into molten sadness,
    into melted metal
    as we watched in horror.

    Everyone knew the day
    would not soon fade into any other
    date on the calendar, like Lincoln’s
    assassination, or Kennedy’s
    or the day the Challenger sank
    to the sea in smoke over us.

    The murdered victims were heroicized
    and elevated to sainthood.
    No one ever hinted one might have been
    a child porn fan, or one beat his wife,
    or that another was having an affair.

    Sudden patriotism sprang
    from every car bumper, flags
    waved where flags had never been.
    War was declared on terror.
    God Bless America became a mantra
    for getting even.

    9/11 has become unnaturally poignant,
    a way to remember we hate
    atrocities. We waterboard with disregard,
    keep boys of 15 at Gitmo until they’re men…
    because we are against terror.

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  6. Carol, thank you. It is hard, hard, hard to say these things. I'm so glad you did.

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